my heaven is a half pipe.

My heaven is a half pipe .
I wanna tear it up .
Boarding . All day , err day .
Kick , push , maybe a flip.
Perfect balance , even distribution.
Gotta have it , if you don't wanna eat shit.

I watch every one , other skaters like me; having their fun.
You are living your lives , but i can feel your'e always missing me.
I'm still skating it up, I'm doing just fine.
Kick, push , maybe a flip.
Going strong , perfect balance.

My days and nights mesh .
Skate sesh everlasting; endless.
It's wonderful , iv'e still got my groove.
I think about you guys , I miss you too.
Kick , push , maybe a flip.
Air and hair .
No lies , just love.

the abyss.

where were you ?
i needed you today.
i miss you .
my heart hurts .

my thoughts never stop racing.
i'm still having nightmares.
i'm fighting urges to slip into my old habits.
even music can make me cry .
i'm starting to hate the things i love.

music .. art.. the things i held close to me.
they lack meaning.
or they hold too much .
i push myself too hard.
i give my all , and it's not enough .
kick boxing .. i attack it.
i don't recognize all of this stubborn ferocity .

so much is going on .
i can't process these things.
i'm scared. i'm angry .
you would help me get through it .
you always tried , always cared when you saw me cry .

your'e gone.
you can't come back .
i hate death .
it's too permanent.
it's the only thing in this life that's guaranteed.

why can't you come back ?